In my work I combine the Family Constellations approach, humanistic, psychogenealogy and transpersonal psychology methods with experimental work to identify those patterns that keep stopping you from fully developing your potential. Finding out what triggers you, what keeps you reactive instead of responsive, is key to awareness and to change. Getting a handle on daily habits that are subconsciously influenced by the past is central to my breakthrough techniques.
Conceivably at some point in your life you’ve questioned why a specific pattern keeps repeating, blocking you from fully enjoying the experiences you go through in life. For some, the challenge is finding Mr. or Ms. Right, self-love, or expanding their family. For others the issues concern work, from frustrating clients to annoying coworkers. Still others, have low self-esteem, and cannot seem to achieve or maintain happiness. We all have something that stops us from unfolding our greatness, something that prevents us from getting from point "A" to "B". Wouldn't you like to find out what is really stopping you and overcome it?
Most of these hidden barriers stem from the systems you belong to, such us family, culture, nationality, religion, work… All of these systems are built on traditions and habits you consciously and unconsciously follow in order to belong, to feel comfortable. For example, family agreements are like deep hidden codes that unconsciously require us to follow patterns. In upholding their hidden rules and dynamics we are prevented from being who we really want to be. These "codes" are located in the depths of our minds disguised as beliefs and all kinds of inhibitions that paralyze us.
Many beliefs are contracts that we have with other members of our family tree, ideas that have been handed down from our grandparents and behind them from our ancestors that we don’t question. For example, when older members of a family say, "All the successful men in our family are lawyers," the artist within the family will not feel free to pursue his creativity -- no matter how talented -- without guilt and fear. In a sense, your family sets a system of beliefs that you become loyal to, even when it is toxic. Often these are unbearable.
Other examples of emotional contracts usually come in the form of emotional inhibitions, closely associated with children's awareness levels or developmental stages, such as when you were told:
- "Do not grow" - parents out of love express to their children “do not grow” and the loving children subconsciously adopt the sentence as an emotional thread causing them to stay emotionally stunted.
- "In this household we all cheer for Real Madrid" - From the first month of life the child is a member of the club. When he grows up, he has no alternative, if he does not like football or he does not want to be a Real Madrid fan, he will be considered a traitor or be treated by the family as if there is something wrong with him. Replace "Madrid" with a religion, a political party, a lifestyle, etc. and you get the same result.
- "Do not be stupid and do not find love" - the boy becomes indirectly entangled with his mother as the mother unconsciously implies that she will never disappoint him and that any other woman eventually will. A girl may find herself tangled up in her father's misdirected love in the same way.
The reality is that whether we like it or not, emotional contracts strongly bind us to the past and foster relationships based on emotional dependency. By dissolving these contracts you will be opening the door to living and loving with a higher level of consciousness. In fact, transforming the mind lies at the heart of every wisdom teaching. Every person searching for healing or elevation becomes more and more preoccupied by the possible links connecting the past, present and future as the need for a supreme path emerges.
The Greeks told us to heal the soul. The twentieth century has fortunately given rise to remarkable breakthroughs in psychological knowledge on one hand and spiritual knowledge on the other. I would say heal the mind, if you believe that the mind, our common instrument of higher perception, is not working well — that it is mired in conventional principles, ingrained memories and compulsive movements. Bringing mindfulness to your growth is one of the best gifts you can gift yourself. Think about it:
- The future is by definition shapeless and imagined only in fantasy. Its virgin substance fascinates us; we project our wishes onto it and would like to see it fill us with satisfaction.
- The past, however, has fixed forms, which can pursue us even though they have already had their day.
- The present, which is so dear to us, is as enduring as it is elusive, like water, which freezes irreversibly into the ice of memory.
In order to move towards an authentic life, one must get to know oneself. Firstly, this means not crushing the present into the small space between memory and expectation. Secondly, we may find along the way that other destinations are worth a detour, since the path is an end in itself. The revelation that only the present exists is not an intellectual one. It is a limitless, extremely gentle feeling, which whispers that this eternal moment is all there ever was in the little forgotten child; and, that it is all there in the old man who is drawing closer. The spiritual quest and the process of psychotherapeutic healing share this same paradigm — uncertainty. Even if we do not know how and when things will change, or if we only assume that change is probable, this has to be better than a dead-end sense of the present that keeps us trapped in unbearable repetitive loops, which undermine our existence.
Positioning yourself in the right order within your family and completing with past entanglements will bring you the ease to face the world in a refreshed and empowered way. Wherever your situation is, if you are going through transitions and looking for the right positioning to bring your full potential forward, be ready to take control of your life to unleash it. Contact me for guidance.