We all follow patterns in our day-to-day basis. Either knowingly so, or unconsciously done, we not only follow them, but also are formed by them. For example,
- Do you find yourself failing to reach completion even on things you REALLY want to do?
- Do you keep adding new things to your endless ‘To Do’ list?
- When you do public speaking appearances, does your body always react a certain way?
- Do you normally procrastinate on things you don’t find attractive or interesting?
- Have you been writing a book/blog/thesis ‘forever’ but never seem to move forward?
- Do you have a nagging feeling that time is ‘running out’?
- Do you have challenges to save money?
By replying to these questions you will start to notice certain patterns attached to specific circumstances. These are patterned systems of patterns, evolving over time, that can play in our favor the more aware we become of them.
First and foremost, don’t stress out, everyone experiences the feeling of being overwhelmed from time to time; but, the key here is to detect when this feeling turns into a chronic life pattern, because that’s when you want to look for a deeper reason than surface-level excuses.
Let’s begin with a fundamental aspect of life that can happen to us at any given age. For most of us, if we failed to meet a deadline, payment, getting somewhere on time, honoring our word, or meeting any given goal and we were shamed for this—by parents, teachers, bosses, clients, friends, or any specific community—we were most likely labeled as undisciplined, unreliable, lazy, inconsiderate, “no sense of time”, ‘bad’. These accusations hurt causing us to feel guilty for disappointing someone important. As this happened again and again we took these labels on as our own causing us to believe we are a disappointment, undisciplined, lazy, disorganized, no sense of time (which in our mind can be translated or manifested as a believe of “there is/was not enough time, there were not enough resources, I can’t do it by myself,” and so on.)
Today, those beliefs and the underlying guilt are beliefs that we have made contracts around so they MUST play out in our life. To prove that our belief is correct and that we are disorganized—we act disorganized; because we believe that we are lazy, we let things slide and beat ourselves up about it. Think about it. If we are always under the belief that there is not enough time, we unconsciously create monumental projects and keep the To Do list overflowing – just to prove that we and others are right! This is the definition of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So… I am sure you are asking yourself… “what can we do about it?” There are many things we can work on from cognitive psychology to systemic management. Because when we let go of the guilt from our most painful memories and open space for trust, resources and know-hows to flow in our life/work we also make space to change our beliefs. The systemic, personal and organizational, management sessions I offer bring to light these patterns within a context of a subjective and experimental experience. So that when we are clear on our patterns and believes, we can create new beliefs, such as, “Time is not a constraint for me”, or “Time can play in my favor” and then go about proving THIS belief as true for ourselves. Find here a discount I am offering for the entire month of June!